When the Past Isn't Passed
by Agent N Danvers
Summary: Alex waited, for a while. And then life changed, and so did she. She fell in love (again). But can she love anyone the way that she loved Maggie Sawyer? Can she put everything in the past? Or will something (or someone) come back to haunt her? What will she do to protect those she loves? (Also posted on AO3)
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I'm going to be honest with you, the last episode of Supergirl that I watched was the season 3 premier (I think) or maybe episode 2 (I really don't know.) As soon as I heard that Sanvers was breaking up, I really just stopped. TBH the only real draw for me was Sanvers and Chyler (and the fact that my mom used to call me Supergirl when I was little, but that's beside the point.) The point is, I haven't seen anything about the breakup besides a few screenshots and the dancing scene, so you'll have to bear with me if there are any inaccuracies. But I just really felt the need to write something for it.**

 **BTW if any of this sounds familiar, I did see some writing prompts on Instagram that I thought I might use, but I don't own them or any other intellectual property.**

 **-X-**

It had been two years since they had broken up. Alex had waited, and if she was being completely and utterly honest with herself, a part of her still was, but after some time and careful reflection, Alex had ultimately decided that she needed to get back out there. At first she had only dated casually. Some women she met in the bar or on the street, a couple people that Kara and Lena had thought would be good for her, but nothing had really panned out. That was until she met Jay. Jay was different than anyone Alex had dated before. Calm, careful, willing to take her time. Eventually Alex had just opened up to her. And it wasn't that she was planning on getting into another relationship, in fact, when they met, Alex had decided to take a break, focus on work. But life has a way of making other plans.

Alex woke with a pounding headache that morning. She groaned as she opened her eyes to the assault of light that streamed through the bedroom window. She rolled onto her side and threw her arm over her eyes.

"Morning."

Alex winced slightly. "mmph. Headache." She muttered under her breath. She heard the sound of the curtains being swiftly shut, and felt the mattress compress under the weight of the other woman as she sat down next to her.

"Better?" Jay asked as she gently took hold of Alex's wrist and rolled her over onto her back.

Alex peered through her eyelashes. The light was dim, and she glanced over at the blonde lying next to her. She smiled softly and nodded. "Better." She whispered. She pulled the other woman towards her, pressing an early morning kiss to her lips. She wrapped her arms around her, pulling the covers over both of them.

"Headache on your first day off. Not off to a great start, huh?" Jay asked, playing with Alex's hair that had grown long over time.

Alex nodded slightly. "A couple painkillers and I'll be right as rain." She murmured.

Jay smirked slightly. "Please, allow me." She murmured. She slipped off the bed and into the bathroom. Alex's eyes followed her as she moved. "Quit staring at my ass." Jay called out behind her.

"I was doing no such thing!" Alex said, feigning offence.

Jay came back holding a glass of water and two pills. "Right." She murmured, kissing Alex again. She handed her the pills and water and crawled back onto the bed. "So what should we do to start our 'stay-cation'?"

Alex quickly downed the water and pills before placing the cup on her side-table. "What do you think about a morning walk and then I take you out to breakfast?" she asked.

"Sounds perfect."

 **-X-**

The air was crisp as they left their apartment. The summer had recently given way to a cool autumn breeze, the leaves had just started to change colours and the sunrise every morning was incredible. Alex took Jay's hand as they crossed the street to walk to the park. When they had moved in together, they had both thought it would be nice to have some kind of a view from their apartment, and the park seemed perfect for both of them.

It was still early, Alex pulled Jay down onto a bench to sit next to her. Jay rested her head on Alex's shoulder, smiling softly. "This is –" she searched for the proper word.

"Lovely? Adorable? Amazing?" Alex offered, teasing slightly.

Jay laughed softly. "Perfect." She answered.

Alex smiled softly, resting her head against the other woman's. "Yeah," she murmured after a few moments. "perfect." She muttered, her smile faltering slightly. She took a deep breath and squeezed Jay's hand softly, as if it was some kind of reminder for herself. That Jay was real, and everything else was in the past. And the past rarely decides to make an appearance in the present. "Should we go grab breakfast?"

"Where?"

Alex lifted her head and looked at the other woman. "Anywhere."

 **-X-**

Alex and Jay paid cash at the little café they had stopped at for breakfast, leaving a large tip on the table for the waitress.

"I was not!" Jay insisted, laughing as they strolled aimlessly back through the park.

"You were," Alex teased, squeezing her hand. "You were totally smitten."

Jay raised her eyebrows. " _Smitten?_ " She said, mocking Alex. "Okay, when did we travel back in time and where did we park the time machine?" she asked.

Alex rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. You were totally checking her out."

Jay shook her head. "No way!" she scoffed.

Alex smiled. "Deny all you want. As long as you only look. Because you're mine." She murmured, pulling her in for a kiss.

Jay pulled away slowly. "Mmmm, okay fine. I admit she was attractive, but you are so much hotter."

Alex laughed loudly. "Well, I'm happy to hear it." She said, as they continued through the park.

They wandered slowly through the paths, watching other couples and children playing and laughing. "How's the headache?" Jay asked, glancing up and brushing away a stray strand of hair from Alex's face.

"Gone." Alex said, smiling. "Painkillers and coffee work wonders." She said, a hint of amazement in her voice.

Jay laughed softly. "Good. Then I think now is the right time to bring this up."

Alex's face grew concerned slightly. Her mouth dropped open.

"No, I'm not breaking up with you." Jay said quickly. She pulled Alex over to the side of the path and took a deep breath. "And before you go in the opposite direction, I'm not proposing. I know how you are. And I'm totally okay with taking things slow. I just feel like we could have a little more. You know?" she babbled.

Alex grinned softly and shook her head. "Babe, you're rambling again."

Jay smiled nervously and nodded. "I know. It's just that – I don't want to push you or make you think that you can't talk to me or say no if you're not comfortable, but I think that this could be a good thing for the both of us and-"

"Babe-"

"I want us to get a dog."

"A-a dog-" Alex murmured. "That's what all the rambling was about?" she asked, beginning to laugh.

Jay crossed her arms over her chest. "Come on Alex, don't laugh at me. You said that you wanted to go slow and-"

Alex gave Jay's arms a reassuring squeeze. "Yes." She responded, hugging the other woman. "Of course we can get a dog."

Jay bit her lip, smiling from ear to ear. She kissed Alex quickly before pulling her back onto the path. "Okay, so should we get a puppy or a dog? Obviously we should adopt. But finding puppies to adopt from a breeder is hard, and they're adopted so quickly at the pound. So a young dog? Boy or girl?" Jay asked, squeezing Alex's hand in excitement.

"Girl." Alex said, nodding. "And we should call her-"

"GERTRUDE!" A voice yelled as a large dog came barrelling towards them.

Alex pushed Jay out of the way of the big dog running towards them, and collided with the dog, who immediately began licking her face. "He-hey-!" Alex said, laughing slightly, trying in vain to push the 'attacker' off of her.

"Oh, my god, I am so sorry." Someone said as they pulled the dog off of Alex. "She's one of those ones who just does whatever she wants. Gertrude, sit."

Alex laughed softly, picking herself up off the ground. "No worries. It's actually pretty funny. My girlfriend and I were just-" Alex broke off as she turned around to face the dog's owner. "M-Maggie?" she murmured in awe.

The owner turned slowly, as if she thought it was going to be a dream. "Alex-" she breathed.

Alex shook her head, coming face-to-face with her past. Someone she didn't think she would hear from again, let alone see. She gaped in awe, her mouth opening and closing silently.

"Alex?" Came another voice.

Alex snapped out of whatever trace she had been placed in and turned to see Jay, rubbing her arm. "Oh, god, Jay. Are you okay?" she asked, rushing towards her and examining her arm.

Jay nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just a scrape." She turned to look at the other woman, her mouth still open in awe, one hand firmly gripping the dog's collar. "You two – know each other?" she asked nervously.

Alex glanced between the two women –her past and her future – and nodded. "Um, yeah. Jay, this is Maggie. Maggie, this is Jay, my girlfriend." Alex looked down at the sidewalk, carefully holding Jay's hand.

"Maggie as in – _that_ Maggie?" Jay whispered.

Maggie cleared her throat nervously. "Yeah." She murmured. " _That_ Maggie."

Alex shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She plastered a smile on her face, wrapping her arm around Jay. "So, Maggie, how are you? I thought you moved?" she asked, the expression on her face unchanging.

Maggie nodded, clearing her throat. "Um, yeah, I did. But then I got transferred back here to National City. Apparently the NCPD really needed someone." Maggie smiled nervously. "Look, I'm really sorry about Gertrude-" her voice caught slightly as she spoke the name. "Let me buy you both drinks, tomorrow night. Same bar?" She asked, looking over at Alex.

Alex looked down at Jay, who smiled nervously but nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Tomorrow night." Alex replied, glancing back at Maggie.

Maggie nodded. "Great. I'll see you both there." She clipped a leash onto Gertrude's collar and coaxed the dog down an adjoining path.

Jay glanced up nervously at Alex. "Al? Are you alright?" she asked.

Alex watched as Maggie disappeared from her view, and nodded. "Yeah." She said, plastering on the same fake smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Come on, let's get home and get you cleaned up." She said, continuing down the path they had been on.

Jay knew when Alex wanted the topic to change. She nervously went back to the subject they had been on. "So, a girl. What should we call her? You had something in mind?" Jay asked.

Alex shook her head. "You know what, I can't remember what I was going to say." She murmured.

 **-X-**

 **As I said before I found a writing prompt on Instagram so I cannot take credit for this idea, but I would love to hear what you all think of it. I'm open to suggestions, comments, critiques and anything else you may have for me. Thanks for reading.**

 **-N**


	2. Chapter 2

Alex was lost in thought the rest of the way back to their apartment. She could hear Jay's voice in the back of her mind, murmuring something that Alex couldn't grasp. She nodded absently and softly 'hmm'-ed in agreement when the silence grew too long. Soon enough they were both back in their apartment, Jay sitting on the toilet and Alex on the floor, gently cleaning the scrape on her arm.

"Alex?" Jay murmured.

Alex nodded, not looking up at her as she placed the bandage on her arm.

"Al? Can you look at me? Please?" She asked softly.

Alex shook herself out of the trance, looking up at Jay from the floor. She finally realized how worried the other woman looked. She was pale, her eyes wide and she was biting at the inside of her cheek. A habit that Alex knew only appeared when the other woman was either very worried, or very scared. Alex smiled softly, taking both of Jay's hands in her own. "Hey," she whispered softly. "I'm okay, I promise." She murmured. Slowly she stood and put away their first aid kit, making her way into their living room.

Jay trailed a few steps behind her, watching as she took a seat on the couch. She sat down next to Alex, hands in her lap. "Alex, can we talk about this?" she asked softly.

"About – what? Running into Maggie?" Alex asked, turning towards the blonde woman and smiling softly.

"Well, yes." Jay answered. "I mean, she was such a big part of your past, and to have her come back in so suddenly – it's just – I know we've talked about it before, but now that the hypothetical has become reality – does it change anything for you?" she asked softly.

Alex sighed. It was true; they had talked about it before. How much a part of Alex's life Maggie had been. How she was the first – the true first – for Alex. Her first real love, real kiss, real – well everything. And they had talked about how hard it had been for her. How she hadn't thought she would ever love anyone like that ever again. That is why they had taken things so slowly. They both wanted to make sure that it was what they wanted. And after so long, Alex had _wanted_ to fall in love again, but she was afraid that she couldn't. There had always been the idea of soul-mates, but Alex never really bought into it. There couldn't be just one perfect person out there for someone, could there? That would create too many variables, too many loose ends. But with Maggie, the idea had seemed more likely, possible even. And then they broke up, and for a while, Alex's world had been shattered, broken into pieces so small that they felt like dust being blown away in the wind, too small to ever come back together.

It had been so hard for Alex to open up to someone new. To tell them about her, about what she had meant to her. But when she did, she felt a bit better, and then they grew closer, and Alex didn't think about Maggie as much. She was still there; she could feel her there all the time. The memories just grew easier to ignore. Maggie didn't feel like such a big part of who she was. But running into her, seeing her again, brought everything racing back to the surface, shattering the calm waters that had taken over, starting the ripple effect that had brought them to that moment.

Alex thought for a moment, sighing softly and shrugging. "Honestly?" she murmured, glancing back at Jay. "I don't know."

Jay nodded, wringing her hands together.

Alex sighed softly, pulling herself closer to the blonde woman and taking her hands in her own. "But what I do know is that I love you." She ran her thumb across the back of Jay's hand. "And right now, whatever is bubbling up, it doesn't change the fact that she is my past, and I don't want to live in the past. I want to be here with you, right now. And in this moment, you have to believe me when I say to you that I love you. And I want to be with you." Alex said firmly. But inside, she was panicking. All the feelings that were rising up had caught her so off-guard. She had buried them down so deep so that she couldn't feel them, and now she was being confronted with them all at once.

Jay smiled softly. "I love you too." She responded.

Alex smiled, wrapping her arms around the other woman, sighing softly. "Listen," she said, pulling away after a few moments. "We don't have to go tomorrow. For drinks." She murmured. "I know that Maggie said she would buy for us, but after everything, I think if we stood her up, the universe would forgive us." She said, smirking at Jay.

Jay smiled softly. "Listen, I don't think that I want to go, but if you do, then that's fine. I trust you. And I understand if you have some things that you need to say to her, to get them out of the way. It could be a good way for everyone to move forward."

Alex nodded slowly. "I'll think about it." She murmured. She wrapped her arms around Jay again, biting her lip nervously.

 **-X-**

 **The next evening:**

"You're sure-?" Alex said.

"Yes, I'm sure." Jay responded. "I get it. Trust me, if I had a chance, there would be some things I would need to say to some of my exes to feel like I got the closure I deserved." Jay smiled softly. "Go, I trust you." She murmured.

Alex smiled softly and nodded, pressing a kiss to Jay's lips. "I'll see you later. I love you."

"I love you too." Jay responded.

Alex quickly looked in the mirror one last time before making her way down the stairs to her motorcycle. She put on her helmet and took off down the street towards the bar.

 **-X-**

Alex nervously fidgeted with her hair one last time before making her way into the bar, scolding herself internally. _Why are you so concerned with your appearance? It's not like anything is going to happen. And besides, she's already seen you naked._ Alex shook her head violently, reminding herself to stay away from topics like that. She glanced around the bar and spotted Maggie at the pool table. Taking one last deep breath, she made her way over. "Sawyer." She said.

Maggie turned around quickly and grinned. "Danvers." She said. She quickly moved in to hug her before Alex could stop her. "Where's your girlfriend?" She asked, glancing around.

Alex cleared her throat nervously. "She – uh – got the flu." Alex lied. "But she thought it would be a good idea for us to catch up."

"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that. Tell her that I hope she gets better soon." Alex nodded as Maggie turned to grab a beer on the side of the pool table. "Here," Maggie said. "I got you your usual. Or at least, what used to be your usual."

Alex grinned, taking the bottle. "Thanks."

"Want to play a round?" Maggie asked, handing Alex a pool cue.

Alex laughed slightly. "Sure, let's see if you've gotten any better." She teased.

Maggie feigned offence. "I take great offence to that." She laughed. "I'll have you know that I came back to National City just so I could defeat you in a game of pool."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Oh really, well let's see then."

Maggie nodded, "I'll break."

 **-X-**

They ended up playing three rounds of pool. The first of which Maggie won. (Alex chalked it up to 'being rusty') and the last two Alex won. Maggie knew when she was fighting a losing battle. She held up her hands in mock surrender and they made their way back to the bar.

"This place hasn't changed a bit." Alex muttered.

Maggie glanced over at her. "You don't come here anymore?" she asked curiously.

Alex shook her head. "No." she said. _Too many memories._

Maggie nodded. "That's definitely true." She said. "So how's Kara?" she asked.

Alex nodded, taking a sip of her beer. "Good," she said, putting the bottle down and motioning for another. "She's still busy, doing her thing. You know-" Alex said, smirking slightly. "But she started seeing someone new."

Maggie nodded. "Anyone I would know?" she asked.

Alex laughed nervously. "Yeah, actually. Lena Luthor."

Maggie nearly choked on her beer. "I'm sorry. Did you really just say-"

"Lena Luthor." Alex said again, nodding.

Maggie raised her eyebrows. "Wow. I did not see that coming."

Alex shrugged. "Well, after she and Mon-el didn't work, I think she finally realized that Lena had always been there for her, supported her. It was just sort of a short jump from there."

Maggie nodded. "And Lena knows about-"

Alex nodded. "Yup. She knows everything now."

"Wow." Maggie said again. She sighed softly and glanced back at Alex. "So – um – tell me about your girlfriend. I don't even know what her name is."

Alex smiled nervously, staring down at the bar counter. "Her name is Jay." Alex started. "We met a little bit over a year ago. She was working as a bartender downtown. I used to go in and spill my secrets to her. Well not all of them of course," she said. "But she just let me talk, and she would actually listen. And just listen. And that was something that I really needed back then. She didn't try to offer me any advice or try to fix my problems. She just let me vent. And then we started hanging out as friends and after a while, it just – evolved." Alex said, smiling softly. "But what about you? Are you seeing anyone?" Alex asked curiously.

Maggie shrugged. "No, since I moved back, I thought it would be best if I just got a fresh start – well kind of. There was a girl, back before I moved, but it wasn't anything too serious. And then I moved back here about five months ago, give or take. And then I got Gertrude."

Alex nodded. "Gertrude." She murmured. "That's what we were supposed to name our dog." She said, before she could stop herself.

Maggie nodded, sighing softly. "Yeah." She whispered. She turned slowly and leaned closer to Alex slightly. "You look great, by the way." She said, slowly reaching out and brushing away the hair that was falling into Alex's face. "I always thought you would look good with long hair."

Alex sighed softly, unconsciously leaning into Maggie's touch. She closed her eyes, turning slowly to face Maggie. She bit her lip, leaning forward slightly.

Maggie leaned forwards, pressing their foreheads together.

Suddenly Alex pulled back. "I – I can't. I lo-" she broke off, shaking her head and pushing herself off the bar stool.

Maggie grabbed Alex's wrist. "Wait, Alex please." She pleaded.

Alex glanced down at Maggie's hand on her wrist and felt the familiar jolt of electricity and goose bumps that she had always felt when Maggie touched her. She shook her head, pulling her arm free and ran out, jumping on her motorcycle and racing off into the night, not seeing Maggie chasing after her as she disappeared.

 **-X-**


	3. Chapter 3

**-X-**

Alex didn't go home. She couldn't. Jay would ask her so many questions, and Alex could only take so much before breaking down. She wasn't used to having to answer the questions, just ask them. She drove and drove, really not even paying attention to where she was going. Until she ended up at Kara's. She parked her bike and climbed up the stairs, using her key to get in.

"Kara? Are you home?" Alex called into the dark. She didn't hear anything in response. She turned on the lights and snuck into Kara's room, bracing herself mentally for what she might see. "Kara?" She peered around the corner and saw an empty bed. She sighed, pulling out her phone and sending off a text.

 _You're at Lena's tonight, aren't you?_

She dropped the phone onto her sister's bedside table and made her way into the bathroom, splashing some water on her face. She looked up at her refection, staring it down. She shook her head. "What have you done?" she muttered. From the other room she heard the ringtone she had assigned to Kara.

 _Yeah, why? Something wrong? I can be there in a minute._

Alex sighed. It was just like her sister to drop everything to care for someone else. _No, it's nothing._ Alex responded. _I just had a couple drinks and don't want Jay to think I've had too much. Can I crash at yours?_ She typed out, wincing internally as she spelled out her girlfriends' name.

 _Yeah sure. Are you sure everything is alright?_

 _Yeah, nothing to worry about. Just enjoy the night with your girlfriend._ Alex sighed, locking her phone and collapsing on the bed. She rolled under the covers, closing her eyes, but her mind was reeling. She could see Maggie in her head. All the times she smiled at her. All the times she looked at Alex with so much love and care in her eyes. All of her. Alex groaned and rolled onto her stomach, screaming into the pillow, sobbing softly until she fell asleep.

 **-X-**

Alex woke to the autumn breeze blowing softly against her face. Someone had opened the window. Carefully, she sat up, but as soon as her feet hit the floor a voice called out.

"You can relax. It's just me."

Alex sighed softly and rubbed at her eyes. "Kara, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Lena?" she asked, stepping out into the living room.

Kara shrugged from her spot at the island, reading a magazine and biting into a dumpling.

"And isn't it a bit early for those?"

Kara scoffed. "No." she said, mouth full. "And if you must know, Lena was the one who told me to check on you. She does care, you know."

Alex sighed, sitting down next to her sister. "I know." She muttered, leaning her head against her hand and closing her eyes.

"So?"

"So what?" Alex said.

"The last time you 'crashed' at my place, you and Jay had had a big argument about paint colours, or something." Kara said, tossing another dumpling into her mouth.

"It was something a little bigger than paint colours, Kara." Alex mumbled. She peered through her eyelashes to see her sister narrowing her eyes at her. "Fine, if you must know," Alex began. "I hadrinkwitmgelastight." She mumbled.

"Okay, I have super hearing and I didn't catch any of that."

Alex sighed. "I had drinks with Maggie last night." She muttered.

Kara narrowed her eyes again. "Maggie as in – Maggie, Maggie?" Alex nodded. "Maggie Sawyer?!"

Alex rolled her eyes. "How many other Maggie's do I know?"

Kara shrugged. "I don't know! I don't follow every single aspect of your personal life. How am I supposed to know all the people that you know?"

Alex rubbed her forehead. "Fine, alright. I'm sorry." She said.

Kara cleared away the take-out boxes. "So what happened?"

Alex shook her head. "Nothing happened."

"Seriously Alex?" Kara said. "Come on, I can tell when you're lying, I always could."

"No you couldn't!" Alex protested.

"Well, the point is, I can now. And I know that there is something that you aren't telling me. Now spit it out." Kara said firmly.

Alex sighed, shaking her head and moving to sit on the couch. Kara sat down next to her, watching her sister shake her head. "I almost kissed her." Alex muttered.

Kara nodded slowly. "Well, that doesn't have to mean anything. I mean, was it more like a 'hey, I haven't seen you in a long time, I'm happy to see you again,' kind of thing or-"

Alex glared at her. "Kara, this is the woman that I was engaged to. The woman I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with. Do you remember how long it took me to get over her? To start seeing other women?" Alex dropped her head into her hands again. "I don't even know if I'm actually, truly over her."

Kara opened her mouth, but then Alex's phone buzzed. She pulled it out, seeing a couple missed messages from Jay, and some from a number that wasn't in Alex's contacts, but looked very familiar. "Oh my god. It's her." Alex said. "How did she find my number? I changed it last year." Alex said.

Kara raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, it's not like she works for the police department or anything." She said sarcastically.

Alex sighed softly. "Right, sorry." She muttered. "Still working off the alcohol." She typed in the passcode and read all the messages.

Jay: _Hope you're having fun. What time are you coming home? Stay safe._

Jay: _It's getting late. If you check your phone, call me._

Jay: _Alex, I hope if you had more than a few drinks you take a cab or call Kara. I'm going to bed. I love you._

Maggie: _Alex, we need to talk._

Maggie: _Alex, please, answer me._

Maggie: _We have to talk about this._

Maggie: _I'm not going to stop._

Maggie: _National City isn't that big. We will see each other eventually._

Maggie: _Alex, please._

Alex sighed and tossed her phone onto the floor. "Kara, what am I going to do?"

Kara shrugged. "Well, it seems like you have to figure some things out first."

Alex groaned. "Like what?"

"Like who do you really want to be with? Who do you l-"

"Don't you dare." Alex said firmly. "Don't you dare say 'who I love.' It's Jay. I love Jay. She is smart, and funny, and kind. And she's beautiful and trusting and-"

"Exactly!" Kara exclaimed. "She trusts you not to do what Maggie did to you. She has told you everything she wants, and that is exactly the same things that you want. Do you really want to give all of that up for someone who doesn't?"

Alex bit her lip. "I don't know." She murmured. Suddenly, she stood, grabbing her phone off of the floor. "I need to go." Alex said. "I'll see you later Kara." She quickly left, running down the stairs to her bike and taking off once more.

 **-X-**

She stopped off at a coffee shop. She ordered her coffee and sat down, pulling out her phone.

 _I need to talk to you. Can you come meet me at the coffee shop on Main and Montgomery?_

 _Sure. I'll be right there._ Came the reply.

Alex sighed, putting her phone back in her pocket and sipping at her coffee, watching all the happy people carrying on with their day.

 **-X-**


	4. Chapter 4

**-X-**

Alex watched every single person who walked into the coffee shop, waiting to see the familiar face. She drummed on the table nervously, trying to figure out what to say. Her phone buzzed every few minutes, signaling incoming text messages. She ignored them, put her phone on silent. She felt like hours had passed, seen so many people come and go, she began to get worried, wondering if she should go look for her, but every time she checked her phone, only a few minutes had passed. Finally the door swung open and in walked the familiar blonde that Alex had grown accustom to seeing every morning. Alex stood slightly, but Jay spotted her immediately and rushed over to embrace her.

"Thank god you texted me. I was about ready to call the police." Jay said into her ear.

Alex sighed softly, holding her tightly and not saying anything. Slowly she let her go and sat back down, pushing a coffee cup towards her. "Here. I got you your favourite." She said quietly. She looked down at her hands, picking at her nails, not able to look Jay in the eye.

"Alex, are you alright? Why won't you look at me?" Jay asked nervously.

Alex smiled softly and shook her head. "You always know when something is going on." She murmured.

"Of course I do," Jay responded. She reached across the table and lifted Alex's head to look at her. "I love you."

Alex took a shaky breath, pulling her chin out of Jay's grasp and looking back down at the table. "Maybe we should go somewhere else. So we can talk." She whispered.

Jay nodded slowly. "Okay." She said, biting the inside of her cheek. "Let's go back home."

Alex nodded. "I'll meet you there, I still have my bike."

 **-X-**

Jay beat Alex home, although Alex wasn't exactly rushing to get there. She didn't know why she had asked Jay to come to the coffee shop. Maybe she thought that telling her about what had happened the night before would have been easier in a public place, but as soon as it came time to talk about it, to tell Jay exactly what had happened, she couldn't get the words out. Not in the coffee shop, and if she truly thought long and hard about it, she didn't know if she would be able to get the words out properly at all. And so she made her way back home, taking a few back streets and stopping once or twice to catch her breath. When she finally got there, she found Jay pacing the floor.

"So, first you ask me to meet you at some obscure coffee shop halfway across town, and then you won't talk about what happened last night, and then, you take forever in getting home?!" She said, a tinge of anger in her voice. "Alex, you're going to give me a heart attack one day!"

Alex shut the door slowly behind her. "I know." She murmured quietly.

Jay fell onto the couch, shaking her head and staring over at Alex. "What the hell happened, Al?" she murmured nervously.

Alex took a deep breath and sat down next to her. "I – I met her at the bar," she began. "And it was like absolutely nothing had changed. Like we had gone back in time. The bar was exactly the same. The beer, and the pool tables and everything was _exactly_ the same." Alex said, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. "It felt like we hadn't lost any time together. And so we played pool and we drank, and talked, and then-" Alex shook her head, covering her mouth with her hand, the hint of a smile on her lips. "And then we talked about you. And I could feel all the time that _had_ passed. And I felt _everything._ Everything that I had felt for her – and everything that I feel for you. And then it all broke." Alex said, the tears finally falling down her cheeks. "And she was leaning in – god, she was so close. I almost –" Alex broke off, shaking her head, staring at Jay, her eyes pleading.

Jay had crossed her arms around her knees, pulling herself back on the couch, as if she was trying to distance herself from the situation. "D-did you kiss her?" she asked, staring back at Alex.

Alex shook her head, resting her head in her hands. She sniffed, and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. "No." she answered. "No, because I love you." She pleaded.

Jay stood up suddenly, shaking her head. "I need- I – " she didn't finish her sentence. She grabbed her jacket and raced out the door, hearing Alex calling after her.

 **-X-**

 _Later that night:_

Alex waited for her to come back. All day, she sat on the couch, just waiting for the door to open. Every time she heard footsteps in the hall, her heart would lift, hoping that it would be Jay coming back, so they could work things through. But after waiting for hours, Alex was getting nervous. She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and suddenly realized that she had never turned it off of silent mode. She turned it on and watched as the screen jumped to life to reveal an abundance of missed text messages and calls from the same number.

Maggie: _You can't just ignore me, not forever._

Maggie: _Alex we have to talk about this._

Maggie: _Alex_

Maggie: _Alex, come on._

Maggie: _Seriously?_

Maggie: _This is what teenagers do when they have a fight._

7 missed calls from: Maggie Sawyer

Maggie: _Come on, you have to be seeing some of these._

Maggie: _Just let me know that you're alright and not lying dead in a ditch somewhere?_

Maggie: _We both had a lot to drink and you took off on your bike._

Maggie: _I could have you arrested for Driving Under the Influence._

Maggie: _Please, Alex, I need to know that you aren't in ICU_

Maggie: _Alex._

Maggie: _Alex please._

14 missed calls from: Maggie Sawyer

Finally the door creaked open and Jay slipped through. Alex stood, waiting for her to notice her. Jay turned and jumped slightly. "God, Alex. I thought you would be asleep."

Alex shook her head. "I can't. Not with things like this." She murmured.

Jay sighed softly, taking off her jacket. She sat back down on the couch. "Okay." She responded.

"Okay?" Alex asked.

"You said that you almost kissed her. Almost. But you didn't."

Alex nodded. "I didn't kiss her."

Jay took a minute to think. "Did you want to?"

Alex nodded slowly.

"Do you still love her?"

Alex shook her head vigorously. She kneeled down in front of Jay, resting her hands gently on Jay's knees. "No, I don't love her. I love you. She is my past. That chapter of my life is closed. You, you are my future. You are who I want to be with." Alex said, her eyes pleading.

Jay finally looked up at her, her face softening as she saw Alex's expression. "Promise?" she whispered.

Alex nodded, "I promise." She said firmly. She sighed softly as Ajay pulled her up onto the couch, squeezing her into a tight hug, neither of them noticed the face-down phone on the coffee table that lit up every couple minutes with a new text message.

 **-X-**


	5. Chapter 5

**-X-**

Alex and Jay talked and talked for hours, making sure they were both on the same page. Alex could tell that Jay was still worried, and deep down, she knew she probably had a right to be. She had always known that if she were to ever see Maggie again, that it would be hard, but she thought she could handle it. _Thought._ But since the hypothetical had become reality, she wasn't so sure. They talked and talked and talked, until Jay finally felt calm enough to go to bed.

"I'll be right in." Alex murmured to her as she hugged her tightly. She held Jay's hand softly, letting her fingers drift across the other woman's wrist as she walked into the bedroom. Alex watched her smile softly, a tired, half-worried smile, and closed the door behind her. Alex sighed and dropped down to the couch, her own voice screaming in her head. _What am I gonna do?_ She rubbed her temples and grabbed her phone, feeling it buzz lightly in her hand. She flipped it over, noticing the many, many missed notifications.

Maggie: _ALEX_

Maggie: _Alex, please answer me._

Maggie: _If you don't answer soon, I'm going to storm your apartment._

Maggie: _I'll do it! You know I will!_

27 missed calls from: Maggie Sawyer

Maggie: _Ten minutes and I'm there!_

Maggie: _Nine_

Maggie: _Eight_

Maggie: _Seven_

Maggie: _Six_

Maggie: _FIVE_

Maggie: _Screw this, I'm leaving now._

Alex groaned softly and peeked into the bedroom. She heard the soft breathing coming from Jay's sleeping silhouette lying on the bed. Alex wasn't surprised that she fell asleep quickly. She had probably been up early worrying about Alex. She softly shut the door and tip-toed as fast as she could out the front door and ran down the stairs. She threw open the door just as a black car pulled up.

Alex stood in front of the door, her arms crossed, looking down at the ground. Maggie slammed her door shut, clenching her fists at her sides.

"You – you complete ASSHOLE!" she shouted as she shook her head. "You had me thinking that you were dead in a ditch or somewhere with your skull smashed open!" She yelled, drawing closer.

"It wasn't any of your concern." Alex murmured.

"Wasn't my _concern?_ " Maggie barked. "Are you KIDDING ME? You ride off in the middle of the night, half-drunk, no helmet, and tell me that it wasn't any of my concern?"

Alex raised her head, dropping her arms at her sides. "Exactly."

Maggie raised her hands and scoffed. "Well, I'm sorry for being worried for you. It's not like you were one of the most important things in my life two years ago!"

"Exactly!" Alex snapped, "Two years ago! That was a long time ago, Maggie. I got over you. You broke my heart. And I finally found someone who I love. It took me so long to get over you. So I'm sorry if I scared you, but it really isn't any of your concern anymore. I'm with someone else."

Maggie shook her head, scoffing. "You know what Al, I'm done." She took a few steps back, distancing herself from the other woman. "I knew the moment I met you that you were going to break me."

Alex shook her head. "Break yo-"

"Yes Alex!" She shouted. "You broke my heart too! It wasn't just me. Don't try and pin it all on me." Maggie said, tears starting to fall. "I fell for you, so hard. And I knew it was a bad idea, from the minute you first kissed me. Because I knew that you were either going to be my whole world, or you were going to tear my world apart. And I'm still not over you. Why do you think I moved? I needed to get away from anything and everything that reminded me of you. Because you meant _everything_ to me," Maggie shouted desperately.

"But you know what, if you've moved on, that's great. Good for you." Maggie hissed. "Now that I've seen you better off with her, maybe I can move on too." She turned and climbed back into her car, racing off down the street.

Alex stood, mouth half agape, unsure of how to process the information that had just been thrown at her. She watched as Maggie's tail lights disappeared from view and climbed back up to her apartment. She shut the door softly, throwing her phone on the couch and climbed into bed next to Jay.

"-verything okay?" Jay mumbled. "I heard tires."

Alex rolled onto her side to face her. "Yeah." She whispered. "I snuck a peek on the balcony. Just some drag-racers."

"Probably kids…" Jay murmured. She took Alex's hands in hers, pressing a kiss against Alex's knuckles. "I love you."

Alex stared at Jay's face. Her eyes still closed, half-asleep and half-awake. "…I love you too." She mumbled.

 **-X-**

 **Two weeks later:**

"Good morning Agent Danvers."

Alex nodded to the other agents in passing. The rest of her 'stay-cation' had been uneventful. She and Jay had down some shopping, gone on plenty of walks, drank tons of coffee, and in general, had just been very lazy. Alex was partially relieved when it was time for her to go to work.

"Good morning Supergirl." Alex said, nodding at her sister.

Kara nodded back, watching as J'onn approached them.

"Alex, I'm glad you're back. I hope your time off was enjoyable."

Alex nodded. "It was, thank you."

J'onn nodded. "Well, since you're both here, I have some news to share. We at the DEO have gained another colleague. As you know, we have recently been working with the NCPD on some cases. Now our cases are growing more numerous. The police chief and I have decided that it would be best if we were to have someone here at all times who was familiar with police protocols, so from now on, there will be a detective here to help with cases and consult anytime she is needed."

Alex shrugged. "Sounds reasonable."

"I'm glad you think so." J'onn responded. "I hope you will help Detective Sawyer find her way around." He said sharply, turning on his heel.

Alex's eyes grew wide. "Wait, Sawyer?" she asked.

J'onn turned back again and gave a sharp nod. "Yes. Detective Maggie Sawyer to be exact."

"J'onn, you can't be serious. With their history?" Kara piped in.

"Yes, even with their history, I am hoping that both Agent Danvers and Detective Sawyer will be able to be professional about this new arrangement." J'onn held up his hand before any more protests could arise. "I have to think about what is best for the DEO, and I believe that this is it." He said. "She will be here in an hour."

Alex and Kara watched as J'onn nodded and turned to go debrief more agents.

Kara placed a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Alex, are you going to be-"

"I'll be fine," Alex murmured. She could feel her sister's eyes on her. "Kara," she turned to look at her. "Really, it'll be fine. We're both professionals - and adults for that matter. We know how to put our fee-" she broke off, regretting the choice of words immediately. "We know how to be professional." She said.

Kara nodded softly. "Alright. But if anything happens – "

Alex placed her hands on Kara's shoulders. "I know," She said, nodding softly at her sister. "It'll be alright."

Kara looked back over her shoulder as someone called for her. "Duty calls."

"You go Supergirl." Alex responded, smiling at the young woman. She watched her sister go, and turned towards the lab, hoping she would be able to bury herself in the work she had left behind before her 'stay-cation.'

Alex managed to avoid seeing or even hearing about Maggie for most of the day. She finished some of the files that she had left open before she left, and tested some new equipment. She even managed to help out with a short training session for the newest DEO recruits. By the time the end of the day rolled around, there was only one thing she hadn't managed to do. She grabbed her phone and quickly texted Jay.

Alex: _I'm going to fit in a training session here before I come home. I'll text you before I leave._

She changed into some more workout worthy clothes before hearing her phone buzz with a response from her girlfriend.

Jay: _I'm staying late at work for a bit too. First one home figures out dinner?_

Alex: _Sounds good._

She threw her phone into her bag and stretched before beginning her normal drills. By the time she had finished, two hours had passed, and she needed a shower.

Alex always kept spare clothes at the DEO, just in case. She took a fast shower and changed, brushing out her hair. As she looked in the mirror she softly twisted a strand of hair between her fingers. _I always thought you would look good with long hair._ The words drifted through her mind like a soft breeze. She could almost feel Maggie's fingers brushing the hair behind her ear, the warmth of her skin, her intoxicating smell.

"Agent Danvers."

Alex glanced up in the mirror, her heart skipped slightly when she noticed Maggie standing behind her. "Detective Sawyer," she said. "Is it still Detective, or are you an Agent now?"

"Technically I'm an Agent now," Maggie responded. "Fitting in a training session, I see. Same old Danvers."

"Still at work late." Alex responded. "You haven't changed much either."

Maggie shrugged. She reached down to a bag that Alex hadn't seen before and grabbed something, handing it over to Alex. "You left it at the bar the other night."

Alex turned, seeing her helmet in Maggie's hand. "Thanks." She murmured, feeling the smooth surface under her fingertips as she lifted it from the other woman's grasp.

Maggie nodded. "Just do me one favour," she said, "Don't go tearing off on your bike without it again." She watched as Alex nodded in agreement, and then picked up her bag. "See you around Danvers."

"See you around."

 **-X-**


	6. Chapter 6

**-X-**

Alex wrestled with the idea of telling Jay about Maggie working at the DEO. _She's just gonna worry. But if I don't tell her and she finds out some other way, she'll be mad_ _ **and**_ _worried. But is she even gonna find out anyways?_ By the time she got home it was almost 8:45 in the evening. _She's already worried about other things, I don't need to make her worry about anything else._ She made her way up the many flights of stairs and tried the door handle. _Odd._ Alex fished her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the door. The apartment was dark, but the setting sun let off enough light for her to see that she was the only one there.

Throwing her stuff onto the bench near the front door, she grabbed her phone and began to type.

Alex: _Beat you home. What are you in the mood for?_

She made her way over the fridge, which they had fully stocked on the last days of their holidays.

Jay: _I don't think I'll make it home in time for dinner. I'm slammed here. I'm so sorry._

Alex smiled softly.

Alex: _It's alright. I'll see you when you get home._

She closed the fridge, grabbed a box of cookies from off of the counter, and dropped onto the couch, flipping on Netflix and browsing the movies for a while before finally settling on 'Imagine Me & You' for the seventy-eighth time. By the time the movie was two-thirds over, Alex had passed out on the couch.

 **-X-**

Alex woke up to the sound of birds chirping. She silenced the alarm and glanced around, still no Jay. She grabbed her phone, calling Jay, just to make sure everything was alright.

"-ello?"

"Morning," Alex said.

"Al? What time is it?"

"A little after seven. What happened? I thought you were going to come home last night." Alex hard shuffling coming from the other line, and the sound of a door closing softly.

"I was, but the ER got busier and they needed more help so I stayed and slept in the on-call room." Jay murmured. "It was –"

"You don't have to explain, I get it. You worked so hard to get yourself through school, I should know by now that you are amazingly dedicated to your work." Alex said, amusement in her voice.

Jay sighed softly. "I'm sorry babe." She whispered.

"Don't worry about it," Alex murmured. "It's amazing how dedicated you are. Get some coffee, and go back to saving lives."

She heard Jay sigh softly. "You're amazing. I love you. I promise I'll be home tonight. Have a great day at work."

Alex felt a pang of guilt wash through her, but she forced it down. "You too. I love you."

"I love you too."

 **-X-**

Alex's day was the same as it always was. The day was quieter than some others, but she was glad of it. She didn't want to rush back into things, not right away. The day moved quickly enough and again she found herself staying for a training session. She was half way through stretching when she noticed someone watching her from the doorway.

"You can come in." Alex called out.

Maggie stepped forwards. "I was going to see if I could train, but I'll just go." She stepped backwards, turning around the corner.

"Maggie, wait." She heard the footsteps stop. "It's easier to train with someone else. I'll help you." Alex paused, not hearing any movement coming from the other woman's direction. Her heart was beating so loudly she was sure that anyone passing by could hear it.

After a minute, Maggie came back around the corner. "Alright."

Alex nodded. They stood across from each other, fists up. "I wanted to talk to you anyways," she said. "About the other night. I was wrong." She said, dodging Maggie's fist that came towards her.

"About?"

"Wrong that it wasn't any of your concern," Alex responded. "I shouldn't have said that. You were only trying to make sure I was alright."

"I'm glad you see that now." Maggie responded, throwing jabs at the other woman.

Alex dodged again, dancing around the woman. "I almost left, you know."

"Left?" Maggie asked, watching her closely.

"Almost left National City." Alex said, throwing her own punches towards Maggie.

"Why didn't you?"

Alex paused for a long minute before answering. "Kara. She told me that if I went through with what I was planning, she would help me."

"And what is it that you were planning?"

"I was going to have a baby." Alex said.

Maggie stopped, dropping her fists slightly. "You were – you were going to have a baby?"

Alex shrugged. "Yeah," she said, smiling softly. "I almost went through with it too."

Maggie thought for a minute. "Why didn't you?"

Alex sighed, dropping her hands. "Jay." She murmured. "I was so ready to do it, but then I met her, and she made me rethink everything. She wants kids too, and if I had gone through with it, it would have been just me and the baby," she said. "Well, and Auntie Kara too. But if I waited, I could have a baby with her. I wouldn't be so alone." She shrugged. "It'll happen, eventually." She raised her fists again and began throwing punches again.

Maggie dodged as quickly as she could, but she felt so dazed, even without being hit, that by the time Alex did get the better of her, she was knocked flat on her back.

"Wow," Alex said. "You really need to practice." Alex held out her hand, helping the other woman up.

Maggie nodded. "Why don't we make this a daily thing. You're the best trainer I know, and like you said, I really need the practice."

As soon as the words left Maggie's lips, Alex could feel herself smiling softly and nodding, but she could hear a little voice inside of her screaming. 'Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.'

 **-X-**

They trained every day for weeks straight. Alex was home late constantly. But Jay didn't seem to mind. She seemed to be overrun at the hospital. Usually Alex got home just before 8 o'clock in the evening, and sometimes Jay didn't even come home at all.

Alex and Maggie were circling each other, trying to figure out who would make the first move, and how they could take each other down. The training had brought them close together again. They talked and laughed, it was almost like dating, but without the awkwardness. And then it morphed into just being comfortable once more. They didn't have to worry about what to say, or what to do, again it seemed like no time had passed.

Alex leapt forwards, ducking under Maggie's arm, trying to drop behind her, but Maggie knew what she was doing, almost as if she knew even before Alex did, and wrestled Alex onto the floor, on her back, arms pinned beside her head.

Alex laughed. "Just a few weeks, and you've already got my number."

Maggie grinned, "I always had your number." She joked.

Alex shook her head, "Fine. I guess I'll have to think up some new moves." Maggie nodded. "Can you get off me now?"

Maggie shook her head. "Make me." She breathed, unconsciously lowering her head towards Alex's.

Alex could swear that she felt time slowdown in that moment. She could hear her heartbeat, her breathing, in sync with Maggie's. She could feel the sweat from Maggie's skin drip onto her stomach, could taste the salt, smell the way it mixed with Maggie's shampoo. She could see Maggie's lip, how soft they were, she could feel how badly she wanted to press her own lips against them. She pushed her head up, capturing Maggie's lips against her own, and quickly flipped Maggie onto her back. Alex let her hands tangle in Maggie's hair, and felt Maggie's hands traveling down her ribcage. Slowly, Alex pulled away, untangling herself from the other woman and moving to sit on the bench.

"Al," Maggie murmured, sitting up to look at her. "Alex, look at me." Alex glanced over, her thumb drifting across her own lower lip. "What are we doing?"

Alex shook her head. "I don't know." Maggie moved to sit next to her, and Alex instinctively shifted closer. She took Maggie's hands in her own running her thumb across Maggie's knuckles. "We still want different things." Alex whispered.

"Do we?"

Alex glanced up at Maggie. "Do we?" she asked.

Maggie's face softened slightly. "I never thought I would want kids, not with anyone. I thought that because of the way my own parents treated me, I wouldn't know the right way to raise a child," she whispered. "But with you," she took Alex's face in her hands. "Al, you make me feel like I could do anything. I think that, if you were by my side, I could do anything. Even raise a family."

Alex smiled a smile that was the happiest and brightest and softest smile that anyone could. "I love you Maggie Sawyer."

"I love you Alex Danvers. I never stopped."

 **-X-**


	7. Chapter 7

**Well, my weekend has been completely abhorrent. Let's hope some fanfic writing can turn things around.**

* * *

 **-X-**

They talked and talked and talked until finally, Maggie checked the time. "9:45 pm." She said to Alex.

"Oh shit," Alex said, a small laugh sneaking through her lips. "You're kidding!"

Maggie shook her head. "So what are we going to do?"

"About…?" Alex asked.

Maggie's head dropped. "Jay." She said softly.

Alex's eyes grew wide. She had completely forgotten. In all the time that she and Maggie had been talking, the other woman had not once popped into her thoughts. Being with Maggie felt so natural, it was like she had found a piece of herself that she hadn't even known she had been missing. "Oh shit." Alex said again.

Maggie nodded. "Yeah. Oh shit."

 **-X-**

They had finally decided that Alex would tell her, as soon as she got home. Maggie had offered to go with her, try to make things easier.

"No," Alex had said softly. "I need to tell her. Just me." Then, of course, Maggie insisted, but Alex had been adamant. So they said their goodbyes, each of them sneaking glances back at each other as they parted in different directions. Alex got on her bike, but decided to check her phone before leaving.

Jay: _Sorry Al, I have to stay late at the hospital again._

Alex frowned slightly, she had hoped Jay would be home when she got there, so she could get things over with. She thought for a moment. If Jay wasn't there, she would be able to gather some things together, get out of Jay's way more quickly. She wouldn't have to go somewhere to buy all new clothes and things. Alex unlocked her phone.

Alex: _Okay, but when you get a chance, we need to talk._

Alex pressed send quickly before giving herself a chance to take back what she had typed out. Then she put on her helmet and made her way back to the apartment.

 **-X-**

Alex spent a couple hours figuring out what to take with her when she left. Clothes, jewelry, family pictures. She didn't take any photos of her with Jay, she figured that Jay might want to rip them apart herself or set them on fire when she found out. When she finished, she threw her bag on the couch and laid down on the bed. Glancing over at the clock, she finally realized how tired she was. _2:15 am. She's probably not going to be home tonight._ Alex yawned. _May as well use the bed while I still have a chance._ She peeled off her socks and pants and curled up under the covers.

 **-X-**

Alex woke to her alarm blaring. She peeled the covers back and rubbed the sleep out of the corners of her eyes. Slowly, she made her way to the kitchen, grabbing some water and threw it back. She glanced over at the clock. "Shit-!" she hissed. She rushed into the bedroom, throwing on her clothes and raced out the door.

By the time she reached the DEO, J'onn was waiting for her. "Agent Danvers. You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry. I've had a hard time keeping track of time properly for the last little while. It won't happen again."

J'onn nodded. "It's alright, this time. I need your report on the alien DNA sequencing by the end of the day."

Alex nodded. "Yes sir. It's almost done, I just need to finish one last detail in the report." She rushed off into her lab, sighing as the door closed behind her. She jumped as the door locked. She spun around, grabbing Maggie by the wrist.

"Um, ow." Maggie said.

"Mags," Alex whispered. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in here."

Maggie smiled at Alex. "That was the whole idea, Danvers," she stepped closer to Alex, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Let's sit," she murmured, leading Alex towards two chairs. "So?" Maggie asked.

"So, nothing." Alex said.

"Nothing? What do you mean?"

"I mean, I didn't get a chance to talk to her. She didn't come home last night. Something was happening at the hospital." Alex sighed.

Maggie nodded. "I see. You never told me that she's a –" She broke off.

"Doctor. Surgeon actually." Alex said, finishing her sentence.

"Impressive." Maggie responded.

"Jealous?" Alex teased.

"No!" Maggie said quickly. She cleared her throat. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" she asked.

Alex nodded. "Yes, I'm sure."

Maggie sighed, rising from her chair. "Fine. But I'm going to stay close by, just in case. You call me if you need to, alright?"

Alex smiled. "I love you Maggie Sawyer."

Maggie leaned in close, smiling at the other woman. "I love you Alex Danvers."

 **-X-**

By the time the day ended, Alex had worked herself into a very nervous state. She found herself doing things extremely slowly. Things that would have usually taken her a few minutes at best. She knew why though. She was delaying the inevitable. Finally she shook herself out of the extremely slow slump and packed up her things. She had been checking her phone all day, hoping that she would have something from Jay. But nothing appeared. No calls, no texts, no emails, nothing. Alex shoved her phone in her pocket and headed out to her bike. She took the long way home, lost in thought. When she finally made it to their apartment, she glanced up. The lights were on, and Jay's car was in her parking spot. She was most definitely home.

Alex took some deep breaths and pulled out her phone.

Maggie: _I'm just a text away._

Finally, she found herself climbing the stairs. She opened the door and saw Jay pacing the room. Slowly, she closed the door and leaned against it.

"Hi." Alex managed to say.

"Alex- I," Jay started, moving towards her, as if she was going to hug her. Then she stopped. "I'm so sorry." Jay murmured.

Alex stepped into the living room. "Sorry-?"

"I didn't – I mean it didn't – I couldn't – " Jay sputtered.

Alex shook her head. "Jay, calm down. What are you saying?"

Jay took some deep breaths. "It didn't mean anything. It only happened once. She meant nothing. She is nothing!"

Alex's mouth opened slightly, as if she was trying to form words, but her brain couldn't think of any.

Jay dropped to her knees in front of Alex. "Please Alex. I can't lose you, she is nothing to me. It will never happen again."

Alex stepped back, shaking her head. "Y-you cheated on me?" she hissed.

Jay's head dropped, her shoulders shaking as she began to sob. "Please, Alex. You're my best friend. I can't lose you." Alex's mouth dropped open. She sat down on the couch, brow furrowed. Jay fell on her knees in front of her. "Al, please say something."

Alex shook her head. She noticed the bag still sitting on the couch out of the corner of her eye. "I need to think." She murmured. She grabbed the bag and bolted towards the door, hearing Jay calling after her. She pulled out her phone as she reached her bike and quickly texted Maggie.

Alex: _I'll meet you at your place._

 _ **-**_ **X-**


End file.
